Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
I have never walked toward the exit of a supermarket without nervously wondering if I`ve stolen something.
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
A leaf blower, but for people.
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
Christmas is just like a day at the office ... You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.
People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.