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It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it`s obvious he had no idea how letters work.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
Cactuses are just heavily armed cucumbers.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?