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Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
"I`m single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I`m still single, cuz I say sh!t like that?
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-a$$ing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.