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There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
I don’t even know what I don’t know.
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
If your buttcrack is showing out of your pants. I will drop change in it and make a wish.
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
Judging by the way some women wear makeup it`s rather obvious they didn`t excel at coloring as a kid ...
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.