Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
When people said they sleep like a baby, it`s because they do not have one.
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
Of all the things life has given to me... I would like to return 20 lbs.
There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.