Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying “sorry breaking up with you” or that a minute later she text me back “sorry wrong number.”
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
Just think: right now, your body is cookin` up some poop.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.