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Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
I am at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old with a permanent marker without a lid.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.