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Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like
My ex was in a swimming competition with 19 other women today. They were doing the breaststroke. Unfortunately, she came in last place. She didn`t know she could have used her arms!
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?