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I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
Hope I never go to jail, because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2003.
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
Anything is legal when there`s no police around
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!