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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine`s day. Just an FYI.
If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
It`s not hotter this year. It`s just that you are fatter and there is more surface area for the sun to hit.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
Sometimes words are not enough. That`s why I always like to keep a baseball bat with me, just in case...
I used to like my neighbors until they changed the password to their wi-fi :)
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I
American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.