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With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life.
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right for this Monday
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.