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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
I always say, "morning." Instead of, "good morning." If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
If you don`t boo at people after bad sex, how do you expect to motivate them to get better?
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
I`m tired of things costing money
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon