Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.