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If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.