Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session