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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
Not to brag, but I`m pretty good in bed. I don`t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
My credit score is so bad I have started receiving pre-declined credit card offers