Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a video camera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
Born free. Now, Iām expensive.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.