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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
I love how people say they`re "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
You call it multiple personality disorder... I call it being mayor of the little town in my head!
My sleep number is 100 proof.
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
My girlfriend says I need to grow up. I think she`s just angry I didn`t give her the password to my pillow fort.