Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
A coworker wouldn`t stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
Beware of the deodorants with instructions that ask you to "remove the top and push up bottom"... they could at least make them round.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.