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SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
Calm down! I`m not officially late until I actually get there.
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
Party like you will never be invited to another!
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
If practice makes perfect, one day I will make the perfect mistake.
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
Do you really have to breath that much?
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.