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Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” is a swear word.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
I`m perfect you adjust.
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.