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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.
It is kinda at the point where everything in my life is a movie reference
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
Apparently, "Giant ones" is not the appropriate response to the question, "What are the steps you would take in the event of an emergency?"
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
The older I get the better I used to be.
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.