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Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
Marriage is for quitters
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
I’m pretty good at keeping my sh!t together. Until there’s a bee around.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....