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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
In the 60`s we took LSD to make the world look wierd. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it look normal.
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna` be a great day.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.