Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
Just tried to parallel park. 5 people are injured, 3 critical, 6 missing. The casualties continue to mount...
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
Just burned 3 calories typing this with my thumb muscles. #fitness
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.