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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
People don`t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.