Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
What number SPF blocks people?
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...
The only thing I drink from a shot glass nowdays is Maalox.
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
I was enjoying our conversation. Until you started talking....
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.