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Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.