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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
I scream, You scream, We all scream, Because grandpa forgot his hearing aids again.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
My girlfriend says I shouldn`t plan things so far in advance. Well, she`s not my girlfriend yet.
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Soup of the day: Beer
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.