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I don`t care about your status...
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
Today`s subliminal thought is: …