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People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won`t tell you what they`re wearing.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time