Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
I try to live by two rules: 1. Don’t make fun of stupid people (they cant help it) 2. Don’t be stupid (people will make fun of you)
Irons are like 1000 degrees, who`s bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made?
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
Yelling "give me back my panties, you pervert" at joggers is a surprisingly effective way of encouraging them to run faster.
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.