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I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.