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Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.