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Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
Sorry I yelled "April Fool`s" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.