Daily Silly Status

I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.

I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.

FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.

I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.

My idea of getting lucky is having someone else do the laundry.

My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.

I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."

I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.

Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were

Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame

This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.

You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.

My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...

Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.

I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.