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Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Accidentally ran over my neighbor’s cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying “Curiosity was here”
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car