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I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces
My mind says diet, but my stomach is all SHUT UP BITCH.
My inner self is in Photoshop
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
Elderly people used to always nudge me at weddings and say "You`re next."What got them to stop is when............I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
Billion dollar idea: Make a prescription drug that gets rid of the side effects of all the other prescription drugs.
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.