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I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?