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I`ve been knocking for ten minutes. Don`t people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Snickers bar and they recognize my true genius.
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.