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The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you`re interrupting!
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
My problem? Smart phones are too smart.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn`t have toilet paper with aloe.
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....