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You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
A hard thing about business is minding your own
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
I know I don`t look like it but I`m really good looking!
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.