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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.