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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
There were only 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.
I fell off the wagon because I was too drunk to keep my balance
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.