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Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn`t have said.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
If you speak too slowly, I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways that makes your story much more interesting
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. You decide.
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.