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If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..
I`m having an out of money experience.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science