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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
Funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers, and 6 shots, go down like a fat kid on a see-saw.
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
If I`m carrying a torch for you it`s only because I want to set you on fire.
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
So apparently putting Alkaseltzer in my pocket while I`m getting baptized and pretending I`m the devil is not funny.