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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Marriage is like friends without benefits.
Me: "I want to travel more." Bank account: "Like, to the park?"
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
Stages of Drunk: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don`t wake up the cows.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
Wonders why there´s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?