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The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.