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I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Please don`t hastag out loud...
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
The Fourth of July was an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.?
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.