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Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
Sometimes when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........