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Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
I`m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn`t work out
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...