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I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
[takes out checkbook][clicks pen] Alright, how much to make these Bit Strips to go away forever.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
I have finally conquered my annoying habit of repeatedly pressing the snooze button every morning by programming my alarm clock to play lullabies!
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.