Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now Iām heading north to start a new life.
My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
If a door closes in your life...kick that f*cking thing open and continue to pursue your dreams.
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.