Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There’s a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
Every shape I had to learn above octagon was just a total fu*king waste of time.
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk