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Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
I don`t take steroids because I never want to look like I`m capable of helping my friends move.
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
Imagine how out of control drinking would if we didn`t have hangovers
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.