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You never know whats going on in your life until you’re f*cked up.
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
facebooked yo mama!!!
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?