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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
I drink to make other people interesting.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting...
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.